** At The Bottom Of The Ferris Wheel

As i sit in my class, alone, being ignored by my friends, crying alone, i felt like expressing my feelings. So, here i am.

I think i'm really emo now. I can't stand my results. Not at all. I hate my results. I couldn't believe that these are my results. I'm extremely disappointed with it. Sigh. What can I do now? Nothing but to cry?

Seriously, i don't really feel the "me" inside of me. I really cant feel it. I'm not the optimist Joyce or the sensitive Joyce now. I think i'm the emo Joyce. Not like me. This is not me. I know that i hve to pull myself out of this condition. I'm trying really hard! But i cant. What is wrong with me? I'm currently in the i-need-to-hurt-myself mood. Well, of course i wont do it. But, what else can i do????

I need my friends. I need him. But as soon as i start to tell her my feelings, my depressed conditions, I can see that she's telling herself like there she goes again. when on earth will she stop telling me about these??? well, maybe i'm wrong.. but i think i'm 80% correct.

These few weeks, i'm not cheerful or happy but i'm not sad or angry.

I have no direction. I dont really know where i wanted to be. My feelings are all mixed up! hell! how can i get myself out of this damn shit?! Sigh. I'm pointless.

I really want to take a break. Go for a vacation or somewhr else. somewhere i cant see my friends. I really cant stand being ignored by her.

Quote for the day: In the bottom of the ferris wheel is never better than the top of it.

Labels: Me Time